


In the Front of My Mind

by flipflop_diva



Series: Remember Me [2]
Category: Captain America (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Captain America: Civil War (Movie), Choking, Collection: Purimgifts Day 2, F/M, Injury, Missing Scene, Natasha Needs a Hug, POV Natasha Romanov, Repressed Memories, Tony Stark Has A Heart
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-03-11
Updated: 2017-03-11
Packaged: 2018-09-30 13:57:15
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,020
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10164455
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/flipflop_diva/pseuds/flipflop_diva
Summary: She knows him. She knows him, she remembers him, and now she is going to watch him as he kills her.(Part 2 of 3. Set during Civil War.)





	

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Nezumimurasaki](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Nezumimurasaki/gifts).



She knew him. 

She knew him, she remembered him, and now she was going to watch him kill her.

She could feel his fingers locked around her neck, a vise she didn’t have nearly enough strength to break out of. His eyes were staring down at her. Cold, steely, unfeeling. There was nothing in them. No recognition, no warmth, no compassion. 

She could feel herself getting light-headed, could feel her lungs starting to burn, her muscles growing weak. Her vision was beginning to narrow, her grip on his arm beginning to loosen. She dug her nails in but it did nothing to stop the crushing force focused on her windpipe.

He was going to kill her. He was going to choke her to death right here on this table, her teammates — or what was left of them — down the hall or crumpled on the ground just feet away from her.

There was nothing she could do to stop him. She had tried, but she had failed, and this was how it was all going to end. For a second, she wondered what Steve would think when he found out.

But she wasn’t dead yet. She could still say something. Something the man in front of her might never remember when the conditioning wore off, but if there was even a tiny bit of a chance ...

She gritted her teeth, summoned as much strength as she could find, stared him straight in the eyes and managed to gasp out the words. “You could at least recognize me.”

Nothing. 

Nothing at all.

Just the ever tightening squeeze of his fingers around her neck.

Of course he wouldn’t remember her.

She wanted to close her eyes, wanted to stop fighting, to give up right there, but she couldn’t let him kill her like that. She wanted him to see her watching. She _needed_ him to see her watching. So she kept her eyes open, kept watching him. 

And then suddenly she was free. Choking. Air rushing back into her lungs. Curling onto her side as she gasped, her neck still on fire.

He had flown off of her, been knocked backward, by something she hadn’t seen. She didn’t look for him now.

Instead, her fingers grasped at her neck, the air still having a difficult time doing what it was supposed to. Her eyes burned, her lungs were on fire.

“Natasha. Hey. Natasha.” Tony. Tony was there, helping her sit up, tilting her chin up, fingers touching her throat. She saw in his eyes he didn’t like what he was seeing. He slid an arm around her back, another under her knees, and then he was picking her up, hurrying her down the hall.

“I’m okay. Put me down,” she tried to say, thought about saying, but nothing came out. It was too much effort, required too much fight. Instead, she sagged against Tony, letting him carry her.

She closed her eyes, thought about the hand that had been wrapped around her neck just moments before. But the more she thought about it, the more it changed. She wasn’t lying on a table. She was somewhere else. In a different time, a different moment. It was the same, but yet it was different. 

She had been trapped on the ground then, but the metal hand around her neck was the same. It was squeezing. Squeezing harder and harder, tighter and tighter. The world was narrowing, the voices around her growing fainter. She was struggling to hold on, struggling to stay conscious.

_”What are you going to do, Natalia?” _a voice whispered in her mind from long ago, and in the present she wanted to cry. Instead she let Tony put her down on a metal table while doctors slipped an oxygen mask over her face, her fingers endlessly caressing the new marks James had left on her neck.__

__•••_ _

__“How are you feeling?”_ _

__Tony was there again. Sitting by her bedside. She didn’t remember falling asleep._ _

__She lifted her hand to her neck, touched the spots where it was still so tender. There would be bruises. Fingerprints, probably._ _

__She turned her head to look at Tony, to smile at him._ _

__“Breathing’s a little better,” she said._ _

__“Doctors said no permanent damage,” he told her. “We were a little worried for a bit. You were struggling a lot and seemed a little out of it.”_ _

__“Thanks,” she said, “for saving me.”_ _

__“T’Challa saved you.” Tony shrugged. “I only delivered you to medical care.”_ _

__“Still,” she said. “Thanks.” Then, “The Winter Soldier?”_ _

__“On the run with our dear friend Captain America.”_ _

__That didn’t surprise her. Not in the least. It was where this had all been heading since James was spotted in Vienna._ _

__“Any idea where they went?” she asked._ _

__“Not yet,” Tony said. “But we’ll find them.” He paused. “Does Steve know?”_ _

__“Know what?”_ _

__“You know what.”_ _

__Natasha stared at him. The way he was looking at her, his eyes constantly flicking down to the marks on her neck. She fingered them again, uneasily._ _

__She wasn’t sure how Tony could know. She had been so careful. She was always careful with her secrets, but with this one …_ _

__“I heard what you said to him,” Tony said. “I put it together.” He smiled then. “Some things you don’t have to be the world’s best spy to figure out.”_ _

__She wanted to deny it. She wanted to tell him it was none of his business. She wanted to tell him to get out and leave her alone._ _

__Instead she answered. “No,” she said. “I don’t know how to tell him.” She fingered the marks on her neck again. “I didn’t always know,” she added. “I didn’t remember either.”_ _

__“You don’t owe me an explanation.”_ _

__“I owe Steve one.” It came out in a whisper._ _

__“No, you don’t.” Tony leaned over, grabbed her hand. She wanted to pull it away, but she didn’t. She let him hold it. It felt nice. Unexpected. “You don’t owe anyone anything.”_ _

__“Well,” she started. She pressed her head back on to the pillow beneath her. “It’s not like he remembers me anyway.”_ _


End file.
